I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
