3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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