you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
