yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
