if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
