Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
