hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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