I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well I just put wine in my tea
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
