I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you told grandpa to call you daddy
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
