i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
