I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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