I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
