you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
