She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
