I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A+ Viking dick
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
