this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
