If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My hand turned me down
I smell stomach acid.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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