Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't deserve a penis
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
