I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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