The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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