BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So vagazzling was a success
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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