Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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