i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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