When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
