Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
