Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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