So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
