when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
