just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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