There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
