Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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