you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
