Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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