Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
