he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
birth control should be required to get into college
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
