lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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