please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
