is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
