Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
