pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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