Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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