sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
