I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
