Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
