she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
