shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
