batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
