is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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