We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
