It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
